Boudicca of the Celts, Isabella of France, Isabella of Bastille, Brunehilde from the myths, Wu Zetian of China, Artemisia of Macedonia, Elizabeth the Virgin Queen, and countless others.
I’m gonna take a wild guess at what the OP meant here. It’s most likely that patriarchy bred the spirit of war because men in the ancient times were hunters and were responsible for manufacturing the tools of violence. But even if we look at that, women were the gatherers and started agriculture, and that led to territorial violence between different clans.
Even if you say that female leaders in patriarchal nations had no choice but to roll with the system for their survival, there is no such research that has been done in primarily matriarchal societies that prove that war isn’t a patriarchal construct.
In fact, matriarchal societies tend to be just as vicious because of the instinctive nature of women to protect their children.
It’s important to remember that the same patriarchy that led to men being more violent led to women being more meek. If there were no sexism, none at all, there would be no difference between the way women and men do things.
At the end of the day, war is a result of territorial violence, and sexism don’t matter in case of survival.